The Art of Befriending Time and Change: Debbie Millman’s Illustrated Love Letter to Gardening as a Portal to Self-discovery
You may or may not find the meaning of life while pacing a flower bed, but each time you plunge your bare hands into the hummus of the Earth and run your fingers through the roots of something that hungers for the sun, you are resisting the dying of the light and saying “yes” to life. Gardening may or may not make you a great writer, but it will lavish you with metaphors, those fulcrums of meaning without which all writing — all thinking — would be merely catalog copy for a still life. You may or may not be…  read article

Debbie Millman’s illustrated love letter to gardening is not just a celebration of plants and soil, but a profound exploration of the human connection to time, change, and self-discovery. Through her vivid illustrations and poetic prose, Millman invites readers to embrace gardening as a metaphor for life’s journey, a space where the past and future dissolve, and the present moment becomes the canvas for growth and transformation.
The article begins with a reflection on the act of gardening itself, likening it to resisting the fading of light and affirming life. As Millman writes, plunging one’s hands into the earth and nurturing living things is a way of saying “yes” to life, even if the garden does not hold the key to finding the meaning of life. Instead, it offers metaphors—those pivotal points of meaning—that enrich all forms of writing and thinking. Gardening, in this sense, becomes a gateway to understanding the interconnectedness of existence.
Millman’s journey with gardening is deeply personal, intertwined with her own self-discovery. She explores the idea that gardening can be a form of ceasefire in the internal war we often carry within us. Through the act of tending to seeds and plants, she suggests, we learn to cultivate resilience, trust in the passage of time, and accept the fragility of life. This process of learning to trust time, Millman argues, is our best means of trusting life itself.
Drawing inspiration from Derek Jarman’s writings on gardening as a refuge from grief, Millman connects the gardener’s experience to a timeless state of being. She describes the gardener as digging into “another time,” one devoid of past or future, and finds in this moment of presence a profound sense of peace and acceptance. This timelessness is reflected in Millman’s own journey, as she traces the evolution of her relationship with gardening from its earliest beginnings.
The article delves into the symbolism of a seed, which Millman likens to a “singularity”—a tiny beginning that holds the potential for an entire existence. This connection to the seed mirrors John Muir’s observation that everything in the universe is interconnected. As Millman contemplates the seed, she is inevitably drawn into contemplating the nature and meaning of existence itself.
Page after page, Millman’s illustrated love letter reveals her lifelong longing for a garden as a metaphor for her own process of becoming. The portal to this transformation is the wonder that opens when she first planted a seed, a moment that set her on a path of self-discovery and growth. Through gardening, Millman finds a way to understand the interconnectedness of her own life and the world around her, offering readers a glimpse into the profound beauty and meaning that can be found in the simple act of nurturing life.
In “The Art of Befriending Time and Change,” Debbie Millman invites us to see gardening not just as a hobby or a pastime, but as a profound practice that mirrors the complexities and joys of life. Her illustrated love letter is a testament to the power of nature to inspire self-reflection, growth, and a deeper connection to the world and ourselves.










