Engagement Rings 101: Everything You, a Man, Need to Know Before Buying

Welcome to The Groom’s Guide, our expert-led handbook to help you navigate the proposal, the wedding, and everything in between. There comes a time in a man’s life where he must get down on one knee, fish a tiny box from his pocket, and propose marriage to the person standing in front of him. This is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of his life. He’s planned everything to a T. The location. The celebratory bottle of champagne. He enlisted a friend to ensure his partner’s nails are done. There’s even a photographer hiding in the bushes. What is going to ruin this perfect day? If he opens that box and inside sits the wrong ring. As the saying goes, “Wrong ring, wrong guy.” To help you avoid this fate, we tapped six experts to get the lowdown on engagement rings, not only to ensure your proposal is accepted but because there are endless questions that need answering.

Should you shop with your partner or surprise them? Do you get a natural or lab-grown diamond? How big should it be? How much should it cost? Every question you were too embarrassed to ask or didn’t know to ask in the first place, we’ve answered below, along with a breakdown on cuts, alternative gemstones, and the best retailers to find that perfect ring.

Yes, you should shop together. There is an internal debate here at InsideHook HQ about whether or not your partner should be a part of the ring selection process. In short, should they have a say? Interestingly, we’ve found ourselves in a gender divide. The men of the office believe that if you’re about to marry someone, you should know their preferences and, hence, be able to choose the perfect ring without their input. While the women of the office agree with this general sentiment, they are unwavering in the belief that your partner—the person who is going to wear this piece of jewelry forever—should be part of the process.

Luckily, we’ve found the perfect compromise, and our experts agree: you must shop together. While it might seem counterintuitive to involve your partner in the selection process, it’s essential for a few reasons. First, it builds anticipation. Knowing that the ring is a joint decision can make the proposal more meaningful for both of you. Second, it ensures that the ring aligns with your partner’s taste and preferences. They might have a favorite gemstone or a specific style they’ve always loved. By involving them, you’re more likely to find a ring that they’ll adore.

However, there are some aspects of the ring selection process that you should handle alone. For instance, the cost of the ring is a deeply personal decision. It reflects your commitment and the value you place on the relationship. While discussing a general budget with your partner is important, the final say on how much you’re willing to spend should be yours alone.

Next, let’s address the age-old question: natural or lab-grown diamond? Lab-grown diamonds, also known as synthetic diamonds, are created in a lab and are indistinguishable from natural diamonds in terms of quality and appearance. They are often more affordable, which makes them an attractive option for many couples. However, some people prefer natural diamonds because of their rarity and unique history. Ultimately, the choice between natural and lab-grown diamonds comes down to personal preference and budget.

Now, let’s talk about the size of the ring. There are no hard and fast rules about the ideal size, as it depends on factors like the finger size of your partner and the style of the ring. Generally, a ring that sits comfortably on the finger, with a small gap between the knuckle and the ring, is considered appropriate. It’s also important to consider the hand your partner uses more—if they’re left-handed, for example, the ring might be more visible on their left hand.

When it comes to the cut of the diamond, there are four main factors to consider: carat weight, cut, color, and clarity. The cut refers to how the diamond is shaped and polished, which affects its brilliance and fire. A well-cut diamond will sparkle and shine, making it more attractive. Color and clarity are also important—diamonds with fewer inclusions (flaws) and a higher color grade (usually D or better) are considered higher quality.

If you’re looking for alternative gemstones, there are plenty of options to choose from. Sapphires, rubies, and emeralds are popular choices, each with their own unique characteristics. For instance, sapphires are available in a range of colors, from blue to yellow, while rubies are known for their deep red hue. Emeralds, on the other hand, are prized for their lush green color and fire.

Finally, let’s talk about where to find the perfect ring. Retailers like Tiffany & Co., Cartier, and Penguin & Rhinestone are well-known for their high-quality engagement rings. However, there are also many online retailers, such as BlueNile and Baubi, that offer a wide selection of rings at competitive prices. It’s essential to research and compare prices before making a purchase, as engagement rings can vary greatly in cost.

In conclusion, buying an engagement ring can be an overwhelming experience, but with the right guidance and preparation, you can find the perfect ring for your partner. Remember to shop together, consider the pros and cons of natural and lab-grown diamonds, focus on the cut, color, and clarity, and explore alternative gemstones if desired. And most importantly, choose a ring that reflects your love and commitment to your partner. When you find that perfect ring, your proposal will undoubtedly be a moment to remember.